Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
