well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The air was thick with penises
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
this is an emotional support booty call
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
