i barfeds in our rink
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
