and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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