Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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