Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
well, you know. whores of a feather.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
