I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
