Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
