My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
