she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
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