This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
