Betty ford says i'm here all night
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
