It's like God shit irony all over that family
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
