but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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