You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
high people should be assigned attendants
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
