If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
