Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
