I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
