So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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