Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize