just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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