? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize