We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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