I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
