Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
