Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
you never un-have a 4some
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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