operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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