I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
