She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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