I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
