oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
