I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
