It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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