i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
