Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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