Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
