Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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