girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
