It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
