I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
she was so not down for the gang bang
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
