go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
