I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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