I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
