Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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