do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
