doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He passed out mid-signature
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize