If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
