Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
