I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
