I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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