I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
