...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
