hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
That accounts for only three of the penises
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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