1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
