That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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