we're blogging at a bar
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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