You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
