Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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