I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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