Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
