I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
