Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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