i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
