No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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