he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
this just has baby written all over it
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Come on in and take your pants off
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