Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
