I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
