where does the pee come out of this thing
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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