We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We just shotgunned beers for America
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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