Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
