You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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