okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
